by Kate Marshall
GrandParent Dept., The San Diego Family Magazine, November 2005
Are you a bad grandparent if you don’t consistently deliver high–end presents like the latest Power Wheels or iPod? What if the “other grandparents” are more willing or able to spring for pricey gifts or to take the whole family to Mexico? Does part of you worry that you’ll seem a lesser grandparent if you don’t keep up? Coming up with great gifts for grandchildren at affordable prices can be challenging, especially in a culture that too often equates giving love with giving money.
Good news: there are inexpensive gifts that may have a more lasting or appreciated impact than even a fully loaded gift certificate. Franz Kafka (writer, 1883-1924) said “Anything that has real and lasting value is always a gift from within.” You don’t need to spend lots of money to show you care; you just need to be a little creative and plan ahead.
Here are six truly thoughtful gifts that come from the heart—gifts that show a young person he or she is loved and appreciated, and that cost very little.
1. Homemade baked good or other yummy treat. Your odds of picking clothes that an adolescent girl would actually wear are slim indeed. A much safer bet would be homemade chocolate chip cookies, sure to be vigorously enjoyed by any aged grandchild. If you think one batch isn’t enough, be your own Henry & David’s. Make it a subscription by sending a different kind of cookie for each season or major holiday of the year, along with the recipe.
2. Journal of Family Wisdom. Start a wisdom journal for your grandchild. Write down your insights and favorite stories or quotes on how to lead a happy, healthy and productive life. Consider asking other relatives—other grandparents, aunts, uncles, special friends or teachers―to add their two cents. What better gift than a collection of advice and lessons learned from the important people in her life? Words to Live By: A Journal of Wisdom for Someone You Love (Emily and Kate Marshall, Broadway Books, $13.95) is an attractive template for a keepsake wisdom journal.
3. Custom Made Audio Book. Send young grandchildren a book and a tape of yourself reading it in your most wonderfully expressive grandparent voice. Consult the parents to come up with the right book, one of the child’s current favorites or a new one that is likely to be enjoyed. If you don’t get to visit often, hearing your voice regularly will help kids stay connected to you. Your read-along audio book will also help emerging reading skills.
4. Photo Album. Create a “Grandad/Grandma and Me” photo album or scrapbook to show how much you treasure your relationship. Gather photos from your visits, ticket stubs or postcards from places you went to together, photos of you wearing the macaroni necklace she made you, a recipe card for the pie you make that he likes so much, etc. Include brief notes explaining the photo or item. Load it all into a photo album or get scrapbooking help from Memories…in the Making (619-589-8868, La Mesa).
5. Special Outing or Activity. If you live nearby, or are planning a visit soon, give a promise to take your grandchild on an outing you know she’ll like. Consult the parents for outing ideas and a specific date for the trip. If it’s a trip to the zoo, wrap up a small stuffed zebra with a coupon good for the outing. If it’s a picnic at the beach, put ribbons on a jar full of sand or some beach shovels for burying grandma’s feet (or more if you dare). Try not to let too much time go by between the promise and the outing.
6. Love Letter. Write your grandchild a love letter. Frame it if you like. Say what you appreciate about him, what makes him special, as well as your hopes and confidence in his future. Don’t hold back: this is your chance to say all the things that may feel awkward to say out loud, but that reinforce your relationship and your grandchild’s sense of worth. You may never get feedback about the letter, but it will be read over and over, privately, and bring comfort and strength.
If your grandchildren are used to getting expensive gifts from you, you may need to explain your new approach. Hopefully the parents will help their kids greet gifts from the heart with due appreciation. To your grandchildren you might say, without apology, that some people choose to give more money than time and that’s fine. However you feel lucky that you can show them love by giving your time and yourself, since that’s what you think says “I love you” better than anything.
