Transcript From Let's Talk About Love:
1-2pm ET Feb 13, 2007 February 13, 2007 12:40 PM EST © 2007 by Ask The Author Moderator
Average Rating: 10/10
Tags: valentines day, books, love, live author chat, relationships, david marshall, marriage, what i love about you, ask the author, couples, bestsellers, kate marshall, health
About the Authors David Marshall and Kate Marshall are the best-selling authors of The Book of Myself, The Book of Us, and Words to Live By. The Marshalls have been happily married for twenty-three years and live in Moraga, California. Visit the Marshalls at: www.marshallbooks.net
David and Kate Marshall are with us today to discuss their new gift book out for Valentine’s Day, What I Love About You. The fill-in-the-blank book prompts couples to share what is in their hearts, but may not always be at the tip of their tongues. The Marshalls, married themselves for twenty-three years, will chat with us about how the book came to be, the moments that make us love the most important people in our lives, and how we can find new ways of communicating with each other.
We’ll also turn some of the book’s fill ins onto the Marshalls to find out their answers to questions like: If we'd first met in a comic strip, the thought bubble over my head would have said... I missed you when... The best gift you ever gave me was… I never tire of hearing you talk about… Join us today for inspiration and practice saying all of the things you’d better say tomorrow!
Ask The Author Moderator: Kate and David, welcome to Gather! We are very pleased to have you with us this afternoon to discuss your book "What I Love About You" and the various ways we can tell our significant others how much we love them. We look forward to hearing your responses to Gather member questions.
Kate and David Marshall: Thanks, we're happy to be here.
Ask The Author Moderator: We have a few questions that have been sent in by members to pose to you. Diana B. from FL is wondering what inspired you to write this book.
Kate Marshall: Thanks for the question Diana B. The book came about because I wanted to do a better job expressing my gratitude to the most important people in my life. Complaining is easy and sometimes feels more urgent, but ultimately there is nothing more important than saying "I love you," and nothing more rewarding. For me, writing what is in my heart is easier than saying it out loud. First I wrote each of my parents a heartfelt thank you letter at Thanksgiving. Then I started thinking about David, my husband of 22 years. I started penning a journal for David, singing his praises and thanking him for enriching my life. We used this journal to make a template of fill-in prompts, short answers and checklists for others to do the same for their loved one. That became What I Love About You.
Janet B: Happy Valentines Day, Hello Kate And David I have not read your book but will try to check it out. I just wanted to say Happy Valentines Day and the book looks like a great read. Thank you for taking the time to be with us today on Gather.
Kate Marshall: Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Janet. David and I are happy that this morning the book was part of a Good Morning America segment on love. Good Morning America sent "love doctors" to rescue a couple on today's show. The kids had been sleeping in the marriage bed for years. After GMA counseled them on how to get alone time in bed, they recommended a few romance recovery tips. The online article says "The "What I Love About You" book allows couples to spend their nights writing in this romance journal so they can get back to what they love most about each other and their family."
Ann Oxford: Oops. I almost missed this. Glad I logged on. I was just reading David and Kate's comment about writing a thank you letter. Letter writing is such a lost art. I always appreciate even a short card. It shows that someone put some thought into reaching out. Do you have any other small gestures that fall along the same line?
Kate Marshall: Ann, I love to send postcards, especially to my daughter in college. I find funny or artsy B&W postcards. I was happy to see she posted them on her dorm room wall. A little bit of mom on the wall!
Ann Oxford: Postcards are a great idea. Thank you. You have been married twenty three years. How do you carve out quality "together" time? Do you have weekly date nights? Do you leave notes for each other? Do you have to remind each other that you need to reconnect?
Kate Marshall: Ann, David and I actually have quite a bit of together time now, as we both work from home. I used to leave notes in his briefcase when he worked in an office. Now it's more likely to be a sticky note on the bathroom mirror, or the coffee machine, which is always his second stop in the morning.
David Marshall: Ann - David. Birthday and annivesary cards are also a great time to say how much you appreciate the other person. I do this with my brother and sisters every year and we have saved all our cards because the sentiments are so strong. But there is never enough room on the greeting card. That's what I like about our new book; it is like a luxuriously long love letter to your partner.
Bridget Riley: Kate, The two of you sound like you have a really healthy relationship. I've seen your book at Borders, and plan to go back and buy it. As a newly single gal, I think What I Love About You is actually a really good assessment tool for a relationship. By that I mean, I looked through the pages of the book and started answering the questions for myself, envisioning the types of responses I'd like to get. Once I find someone who answers questions that way, I'll know I've got a keeper!
Kate Marshall: Bridget, I hope you find that person who sees the very best in you. It is a wonderful feeling for your positive attributes to be recognized and appreciated. Nothing better! I like the Victor Hugo quote, "There is no greater happiness than to be convinced that we are loved."
Ask The Author Moderator: Kate and David, Lisa R. from Reno, NV is wondering if this book is only for couples who have been together a long time or for people who have been dating for a short time as well.
Kate Marshall: Thanks for the question, Lisa R. The full journal is probably too much for people just starting to date, but is a terrific gift to someone you've known long enough to have lots of common experiences with and know well enough to be specific about personality, physical and relationship traits that you affect you in positive ways. A lot of people look at it and say, "Oh, that's perfect for my niece who is getting married this summer." And it would be. We've given copies to couples as wedding gifts. But it is also a wonderful way for couples who, for any number of reasons, could use a boost. Maybe you're so busy you don't find time for romance. Maybe the kids have left the nest and you want to reconnect with the love birds you used to be. Maybe you're just feeling in a romance rut and would welcome a new way to say "I love you."
Jeffrey Martin: I would guess one learns a lot about oneself when one answers the questions. Do couples ever fill out the books about eachother and then compare how they see themselves compared to how there lover sees them?
David Marshall: Jeffrey - Yes, when I filled the book out for Kate, it made me stop and think what was really important to me. All the little nit-picky things that couples complain about after they've been together for a while just melted away. Kate and I compared our answers and found that we remembered some things differently, but many answers were remarkably similar. They showed how much our lives have merged together over the years.
Kate and David Marshall: We've got an idea. Would anyone like to answer one of the book prompts about their sweetie? How about a fun one to start: If we'd met in a comic strip, the thought bubble over my head would have said..."
Josh W.: The thought bubble over my head read "this woman is loco and I think I like it!" -- we had our first date in Thailand 3 weeks later. Fast forward 6 years and we are married and expecting our first baby. She is due in 6 weeks so I would love any suggestions on doing something thoughtful for V Day -- I haven't done a thing yet...help!
Kate Marshall: Josh, Congratulations, it sounds like you have already had lots of adventures together, with more to come. As a woman, I always love chocolate. But that's gone quickly. Ahem. We created What I Love About You because we really believe it is a great, lasting tribute to your love and your lover. You may not have time to fill it all out by tomorrow, but you can write what you can with a promise to finish. BTW, I've heard it said that this book is the best foreplay ever.
David Marshall: My thought bubble says, "Wowza, wowza! She's got more curves than the Indy 500 Speedway track."
Francois G.: The thought bubble over my head read, "She's really not that technologically savvy." But I got over that. I haven't gotten a Valentine's Day gift yet. I'll have to duck into Borders on the way home to pick up your book.
Jack D.: You guys are great! Thanks for joining us on Gather - and reaquainting us with the term "Wowza, wowza!" Do you have a particular prompt that has special meaning for you? Were there a couple you debated putting in?
David Marshall: Jack D. - One of the prompts that held a lot of meaning for me was: "This is the first time I knew I was in love..." For me, it was when our company where we both worked was about to send us to different locations, and I fought hard to get us a joint assignment. We did get assigned to Mexico City together and I proposed a year later. Ones that didn't get in were too naughty for print.
Ask The Author Moderator: Kate and David, Mary F. from OH is wondering if you have plans to publish other books like this? Have you collaborated on other projects previously?
David Marshall: Mary F. - Our biggest book is The Book of Myself, followed by The Book of Us. Here's how we first got started writing these fill-in family journals: In the early 1990's my grandfather wrote and published his autobiography with lots of administrative assistance from my aunt. His friends were envious, because they wanted to tell their life stories too but didn't know how to start. So I suggested to Grandpa Carl that we write a do-it-yourself autobiography fill-in book that steps prospective memoirists through the process. It covered early, middle and later years and life themes such as family, friends, education, work and the world. I made a few mock-up copies and took them with me to New York City while I was on other business. I pitched them to a dozen editors at various houses, and Hyperion Books, the Disney adult trade imprint, picked it up in 1995. It was released in 1997 as The Book of Myself, and has become a solid backlist title, selling 250,000 copies over the last ten years. A revised edition just came out last month. I also have an online version of the book as a Gather Group.
Kate Marshall: Mary F - The Book of Us was our second project. It came out in 1998 and helps people tell the second great story of a lifetime: the love story. It covers early years, middle years and later years. Some older couples can fill out the whole thing now, younger couples fill out the dating and maybe marriage, and then look forward to filling out the rest together. It has been a popular wedding gift.
Kate Marshall: I know a lot of Gather members are excellent writers. David and I invite you to enter a contest to write 100 words or less to complete the prompt, "I first new I loved you when…" Top five answers win a book and a bunch of Choconet chocolate. Contest rules are up on www.marshallbooks.net. It starts today.
Ask The Author Moderator: Kate and David, We thank you for joining us this afternoon and sharing your thoughts with us. And thank you to the community for their questions. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Kate and David Marshall: We wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day. If you want to contact us for any reason, you may do so via our website-- www.marshallbooks.net
